Happy 17th Birthday to my Amazing Son  / Mommy (Mommy)

Happy Birthday, Jacob ! I can't believe you are 17. It's been so long since I have seen you, and I miss you so, so much. We had a celebration of your life yesterday and it's so hard not having you here, seeing your friends, and just knowing that you should be here with us. I look forward to the day that I can be with you. I don't know why God needed to take you home, but I know that you are happy, and I am really trying to be happy, too, but it's just so hard to be here and want something so badly that you cannot have. I have been praying that God would somehow let me see you and/or know that you are okay, happy and safe in his arms. I think I would do better if I could just have that. You were remembered by many yesterday for the amazing, sweet, loving, cuddly, brilliant, handsome child that you still are. I appreciate all of the people that came and/or lit candles in your honor. You will forever be in my heart and will live in me, through me, with me. I love you, my most precious son ! Your mommy!

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Funny / Friend (Foothill Christian )
Dear Terry,

I knew Jacob shortly at Foothill christian school. I drove him back to the school after a football game. I could not believe how funny this kid was. The whold ride home we were laughing and I thought what a funny, charming guy. I am so sorry about your pain. I visit your website often to see how you are feeling. Take it day by day my friend. He knows what he had in a mother here on earth. What a lucky guy he was to have such a great family.

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none / Becca Hernandez (friend)
hey Jacob!! I havent been by here in a while but suuure havent forgoten you! i love you and miss you! 


The days will always be brighter because he existed & the nights will always be darker because he's gone. And no matter what anybody says about grief & about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating & the last breath is taken.We will miss you forever Close

Thinking of you on Mother's Day  / Annette Wappes (Mom of angel Burdett )
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Dear Boy,  / The Umina's (Friends & neighors )
Dear Boy, Child of God,

Jacob....We so miss your worldly spirit and zest for life.  If Brian was here right now and not on his own journey to find self, he would probably say somethin like.... Hey Jake, miss you dude, why did you have to leave so soon? We had lots of cool and crazy times ahead, but right now life sucks for me and I can't stand it anymore, if you know what I mean.  It's kinda empty and lonely here without you. I don't even want to be around the house or my family, I'm a little lost in finding the right friends and just try to deal with each day. Sometimes I think about joining you and not causing my parents any more grief, but my family, bro and parents would die.  
I know you're having a great time up there, so take care and watch over us down here. Later.... Love, Brian, Anthony, Leonor and Frank.

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.  For this day, the Lord chose to raise Jacob up by his side and for a greater purpose His will be done.  

Bless the Castro family, Dear Lord 
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In Loving Memory Of Jacob  / Janeane Bricker Brandons Mom (I'm an angels Mom too )
              Another Day Without You

The stillness of the morning wakes me,
But I cannot see
Why there begins another day
When my sons not here with me.
The house feels strangely silent 
And his room a lonely place.
I long to touch his soft brown hair
And kiss his dear sweet face.
I'll never hear him call,
"Come see what I have made"
I'm left with only memories
Please God- Don't let them fade.
Deep in my heart, his spirit lives,
His laughter I still hear.
He'll always be my little boy,
Though I can't hold him near. Close

Two years of hell !  / Mommy

My Dearest Jacob,
I know that you know you mean the world to me. I miss you so much, I love you even more. You are so awesome. I think of you 24/7 and you are in every thought that I have. I can't believe that I haven't seen you for two years. It feels like an eternity ago, and yet, only yesterday I was holding you in my arms, smelling your hair, nimbling on your ears, and listening to your laughter. I miss so many things, I can hardly bear the day. I think I have shed more tears than any other being on this earth. It's an amazing thing, a love for a child, it's indescribable, it's beautiful, it's selfless, it's everything. When you left, you took the majority of me with you. I found my identity in you, and now it is gone. I struggle just trying to figure out who I am, what I am to do, and how to get by minute by minute. I cannot imagine having to endure this for very long, it is too much for me to bear. I want to see you so badly, I want to see how tall you've grown, how much more handsome you are, hear your voice, and run my fingers through your hair. I fantasize that I am doing these things, but obviously, it is not enough. You are forgoten by many, those whose lives go on, and you were an important part at one time, but like I said, life goes on, but remember this, you had a great impact on a great many people. Your compassion and love for your friends and family is something that no one will forget. I will light a candle for you everyday as long as I am able until we meet again and spend eternity together. Today is a very hard day for me, I keep going over your death again and again, and still, I cannot believe that this has happened to my most treasured possession. I still have not given you over to the Lord, even though He has already taken you. Please have a talk with Him on my behalf, as I am struggling harder than I ever have with my faith. I feel abandoned by God and most of the time, I just wish I was dead. I don't feel I have asked for much from Him, but I have not received the few simple things that I feel I need. I am not the same person you knew, Jacob, I have changed immensely. I no longer laugh, nor smile, nor find joy in anything. I go through the motions of living, yet I am dead. I am frozen in my grief, I am paralyzed. Nothing I do seems to help, and God does not seem to want to help me either. I must be a horrible parent to have been punished so. I always wanted the best for you kids, and I gave my ALL to you. Please know that I am trying my very hardest to be a mom to your sister, but grief overshadows everything that I do, and all life feels like to me is a series of meaningless motions that bring us closer and closer to death, in which I daily yearn for. It hurts so very much to ACHE for something that you know you cannot have, and I ACHE for you so badly that I literally have physical pain along with my constant emotional pain. Please be happy, my son, talk to God about me, only He can help me, and I am so lost and confused, I don't even know which way to turn. I love you, young one, you are my light, my breath of fresh air, my pride, the spring in my step. You taught me how to love with total abandon. Please have a really joyful heavenly birthday with the Lord, and ask God if perhaps, by some chance, in His mercy, that I could possibly share in that somehow. I love you so much, baby, and miss you, be safe, be happy, 
Love , Mommy !

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My son, my life, I miss you !  / Mommy
It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 years. It's been total hell, and I just miss you so, so much. I never thought I could miss a human being like I miss you. You took me with you, and I am left, almost an empty shell. I am sorry that Chelsie Ray Smith, the drunk driver who murdered you, is out of jail after only 8 months. My life is ruined forever, and yours is gone, and the courts only consider 8 months, it sickens me. I don't know how I exist from day to day, but I have to for your sister and Dad, but if not for them, I would surely be with you now. I pray daily that I could be with you. No one will ever have the relationship that we had, it was so special, and so close. I love you so, so much. I never thought I could love a child so deeply, you brought me soooo much joy. I cannot wait for the day I can hold you again, and spend eternity with you. We have so much to talk about, and I just want to throw my arms around you and give you a big hug and a kiss, and smell you're beautiful hair. I miss your wit, and our long conversations. You were the spice of my life. Be good my angel, and keep me close in your heart as you are in mine. Love you so much, miss you desperately, today, yesterday, and forever. See you soon, my precious son,   Love, Your Mommy Close

My Poem to You at Christmas  / Mommy

What can I give to you,
This cold, wintery morn?
What gift to leave for you,
On this day that Jesus was born?
I can give to you my heart,
Though shattered and torn.
It has always been yours,
Since the day you were born.
I can give to you my life.
You had made it whole.
Now it knows sorrow,
And grief untold.
I can give to you my dreams,
The ones that we were to share.
But now that you are gone,
They seem empty and bare.
My joy, my laughter,
My hopes and my fears.
I leave them at your grave,
With my unending tears.
My sweet child,
I leave with you my love.
Christmas just isn't Christmas,
Without your gentle hug. 

Love you so very much, Jacob. Christmas wasn't Christmas without you here, it will never be. Please know that I think of you night and day, and I even shop for you at Christmas because I still love buying you things. I miss you so very, very much, and cannot wait for the day that I can throw my arms around you in the biggest celebration ever. I can't wait for that chance to feel happiness again. I love you forever, my precious son !

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JACOB / Roycie Raspberry
Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious son, Jacob.  Having lost my daughter, Robyn, I know the pain and heartache that you feel.  My thoughts and prayers are with you today and in the days to come.  May you find some peace and comfort in this new year. Close

verses / Evelia Velazquez (Friend)
1 Peter 1:6-7

6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Have I not commanded? You be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the lord your god will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9


And we know that in all things god works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

We do not want you to …grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope we believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that god will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 Close

birthday wishes  / Laura Kogge (friend)
whats up lil buddy, sorry its been a minute since i said hi...but we been taking.  you and i are having a big year, you turning 16...and im turning 21. woop-woop. i bet your party was better then mines gonna b....the again im not even planning anything. well i just wanted to say hi ad let you know that i love you ad miss you...give my g-ma a kiss for me....im missing her. Close

Happy Birthday Jacob  / Lyn Clayton (circumstances)
I can't imagine that any day is harder than the one before it, But I am sure the anniversary of the day your sweet baby boy came in to your lives must be one of the worst ! And one of the best !  Thinking of you on this day and everyday!!  Wishing you strenth and peace.
  Lyn Close

Happy Birthday Jacob  / Joey
Almost 2 Years ago you changed our lives Jacob.  Almost 2 Years ago I learned a new appreciation for my family and my sons.  Not to say I haven't forgot from time to time as life has caught up and overwhelmed me.  But I can't believe it's been that long.  I (we) still think about all of you Castro family, and how close we all are to losing it all at any given time.
Manny, thank you very much for the phone call the other day.  It's great to hear that everyone is doing okay.  Though you really caught me off guard I guess I needed to talk to you.  Not that I had anything important to tell you, but you have all become part of our lives forever so I guess it just seemed right that we at least meet on the phone.  I wanted to, and should have told you sorry on the phone Manny.  Since that day in the desert I wanted to apologize for snapping at you while I was trying to help Jacob.  You may not even remember it, but I felt awful for a long time after when I figured out who you were.  I'm sorry Manny.
I wish you all the best Castro family.  Be good to one another. Close

Condolences / Steph P.

My prayers and thought are with your family for the loss of such a handsome young man.



This letter is for Jacob's sister, Jordan. She is the one in this tragedy whom I relate to most. I can say that I feel your pain and share your pain also. I lost my sister, Mindi at the age of 21 this past August, just a week and a half before Hurricane Katrina wiped out everything else we had. I miss my sister soooooo much. Everyday I still feel so empty and lost without my best friend. I can't help by cry everyday when I think about her. She was a true angel.She left behind 3 tiny children. The youngest was only 5 weeks old when she passed away. The other 2 were 3 and 4 years of age. Everytime I look at them, I breaks my heart again and again. 

Here is a couple of poems I thought was appropriate for the way we both feel:

Still my best Friend

I never though we'd talk like this only through my prayer
and though I cannot hear your voice I know you'll always be there
You were the hand that lifted me up when I got down
You were the one who made me smile when I wore a frown
You held all my deepest secrets and never told a soul
Your friendship kept me warm inside when the world was so cold
We always talked about the future and how we'd be here for each other
But, now you're in Heaven, so wait for me, my brother
We will catch up on old times and I will have you back again
But just remember, until then I'll always miss my best friend

Sometimes

Sometimes I can feel your presence
as if you never disappeared
sometimes when I close my eyes
I can picture you right here
Sometimes I can hear your voice
as if your talking to me again
Sometimes I can imagine
That I never lost you, my best friend.



all my sympathy to you, Jacob's family....
Here is a website dedicated to our angel's memory

www.heidireed.com/GodsAngels/ In%20meory%20of%20Mindi_Marie_Comardelle_Trosclair.html


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Sending Love  / Debbie, Janet's Mommy
Sending love to the Castro family.  I have recently learned of the passing of Jacob's grandmother.  Your family has been through so much and now another loved one has passed.  Know that Heaven is rejoicing!  I can imagine Jacob greeting his grandmother with open arms and then showing her all the Glory of Heaven.  Life is not fair....we have learned this already.  But when we face the hardest trials of life, just know that we do not face them alone!  Sending love from one coast to the other....
Debbie, Janet's Mommy Close

hey Jacob  / Ellen Tsai (Friend)
Hey Jacob, i was lying in bed and out of nowhere i had a memory of you when you locked yourself in the bathroom and i sprayed lysol until you would come out at one of those pool parties...it made me want to get out of bed and write you something because when i think of things like that it makes me feel like youre with me. I hope youre having fun up there, I love and miss you very much Close

Frustrated / Joey

I found myself unreasonably upset about the leniancy of the sentencing the other day, I mean I got really frustrated and mad.  Which I suppose is what brought me back to visit Jacob's site again today.  I read a page of memorial candles, mostly left by Jacob's Mom :) one or two from his Dad and some others from friends.  Hang in there Terry and Manny, keep being strong for each other and your daughter.

Our thoughts are with you guys.

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