In my heart and in my memories / Megan Voyles (Friend)Read >>
In my heart and in my memories / Megan Voyles (Friend)
I don't know how much I can call myself a friend to Jacob, I was...well...the house sitter. I remember the last time I spoke to Jacob, it was about a week before the family left on there trip out. Me and Keith saw him at Coldstone Creamery. He was there by himself and I just wish I would've talked to him a little longer. The pain I felt for his family after it all happen was something I never felt before...and all I want to say it that I will remember Jacob and his family always...and I will carry his memory and tell his story no matter where I go.
Thinking of you today . . . / Terri Drechsler (Family Friend )Read >>
Thinking of you today . . . / Terri Drechsler (Family Friend )
Manny and Terry, you are dear friends and words can not express how Jacob's passing has changed your life. It is a blessing to see how you walk with God through good times and bad, even when you are not in a good spot. We are blessed by your faithfulness and your friendship. May your cup overflow.
I can't believe it's been 4 years since I've last held you in my arms, kissed your head, smelled your hair, told you I loved you to your face. It seems like a lifetime ago sometimes, I wonder if it's all real, it just hurts so much. It never leaves my mind, not any of it. It's always there, playing over and over, maybe not as often, but it still hurts just as much, only I've gotten numb to the pain. You were such a joy to have around, so funny, so cuddly, witty, loving. I loved feeding you, watching you eat, talk, socialize, and play your guitar. Your baby ! I love you so, so much, it's unbelievable that someone could love another human being with such abandon, without condition, without judgement, so full of love and pride. I wanted so many things for you, I wanted to see you do so many things. Drive a car, go on dates, graduate from high school, get tall, go to college, get married, all those things. I wonder about them all the time, what would you be doing, how tall would you be, what would your girlfriend(s) be like, how handsome you would be, and I know that you are, but I don't get to see it, I can only "imagine". I cannot hear music anymore, it has died in me, a whole part of me has died and gone away. My life is different, painful, unfulfilled, discontent because such a big part of me is gone. I look forward to the day we will all be together again. I have so much to ask you, and so much to tell you. I have so many questions. I hope that your heavenly birthday is a happy day for you. It certainly should be for me, too, but, being human, it is excruciatingly painful. I want you here with me, that's just the bottom line. It just hurts too bad, and I wonder at times how I will go on, but my body continues to breathe, and the sun continues to shine, and life goes on all around me. How can it be so, how can the world still turn without you in it. I find it impossible, yet it is. I just want you to know that I think of you always, constantly, and that no matter where I am, or what I am doing, you are forever in my heart. I love you, my favorite son !
I can't believe you're 18, it doesn't seem real to me. I so want to see you all grown up, I want to see how tall you are, what your interests are, how much more handsome you have become. Why does it have to be this way? I should be celebrating this day with you, the day you longed for, becoming an adult, a free spirit. Remember how you were going to roam around in your Scooby Doo bus with your guitar and just enjoy freedom. I miss you so, so much, I hope that you are just bathed in joy today, and that you are having so much fun, that you have not a care in world, just pure happiness and peace and play ! Even though others may move on and forget, yes forget, I will never forget, nor will a day ever go by that I don't ponder you in my heart. That's all that matters. You MATTER, to me ! My favorite son, my first born, my witty, charismatic child. I miss your funniness so much, you could always make me laugh, even when I was mad. I am sure that you make Jesus laugh all the time. I can't wait to join in that laughter with you. We are going to be celebrating all our birthdays together. Please Jesus, hold my baby tight, and give him my hugs and my love, and my kisses so that he can FEEL me through You. Happy Birthday, Jacob ! I love you, son.......................
It's July 5, 2008. Yesterday was 4th of July. I just miss you so much, I have been thinking back alot lately, trying to play out scenes in my head, and it's getting harder and that really scares me. I didn't want to watch fireworks without you, rememeber, new years eve at the desert, it was so pretty, and that's the last time i have watched them. I know you have a great view from the sky, it must be really awesome, just like you. Your graduation just passed, I keep thinking, what would you be doing right now, where would you be in your life, what car would you be driving, what college would you be going to, who would be your girlfriend, so many ifs, and unanswered questions, I just really want to be with you, I want to spend time with you, I just miss you so much, everything about you. We all do. We can't wait for the time we can all be together. I pray all the time that Jesus would come back today, this very moment and get us and we could all be together. Would you pray that for us, too. We just miss you so much. I love you more than ever, you are a part of me, my very being, and I know that you know how much i love u, I don't think any Mom could love her son like I love you. You are special, we are special. Have a great weekend, doing whatever you're doing, and I hopefully, will be seeing you really soon. I love you, son, my favorite son, and I miss you terribly. Love, YOUR mommy !
It's July 5, 2008. Yesterday was 4th of July. I just miss you so much, I have been thinking back alot lately, trying to play out scenes in my head, and it's getting harder and that really scares me. I didn't want to watch fireworks without you, rememeber, new years eve at the desert, it was so pretty, and that's the last time i have watched them. I know you have a great view from the sky, it must be really awesome, just like you. Your graduation just passed, I keep thinking, what would you be doing right now, where would you be in your life, what car would you be driving, what college would you be going to, who would be your girlfriend, so many ifs, and unanswered questions, I just really want to be with you, I want to spend time with you, I just miss you so much, everything about you. We all do. We can't wait for the time we can all be together. I pray all the time that Jesus would come back today, this very moment and get us and we could all be together. Would you pray that for us, too. We just miss you so much. I love you more than ever, you are a part of me, my very being, and I know that you know how much i love u, I don't think any Mom could love her son like I love you. You are special, we are special. Have a great weekend, doing whatever you're doing, and I hopefully, will be seeing you really soon. I love you, son, my favorite son, and I miss you terribly. Love, YOUR mommy !
Today finds me in tears, just totally aching for you. I miss you so much, I can't believe that you're not here, I want you so bad, I hate my life the way it is now. I know that people have forgotten and moved on, but I am frozen in my world and a big part of me just refuses to leave your side, I can't do it, I can't let go of any of you. You mean so much to me, you are my light, my funny son, my squeaky wheel. You brought the joy into the house, the noise, the life, and now all is gone. I am just miserable. I cannot recover, I cannot get out of this pit, I cannot look to the future without you. I've become bitter and angry, and unresolved to ever change. I will not be happy till we are re-united once again. I don't know when that will be, I don't know how I continue to breathe every day and go on, but I must, but please, ask God to hurry, come back, take us home. I miss you so much, my son, I love you like no other, and I know you love me, too. I cannot wait to celebrate my reunion with you, and to hold you, talk with you, smell you, laugh with you. Be happy, my sweet child, be very happy. See you soon, love, your mommy !!!
Hi Little guy, I was just thinking yesterday that 3 years ago, on Valentines Day, we went out riding, just the 2 of us, remember, I let you ditch school, and we rode all day in the desert and then we went to IHOP for dinner. I even remember what you ordered, a Rooty Tooty fresh and fruity, with strawberries on your pancakes. I so miss sitting across the table from you and talking and just watching you eat. You have the cutest mouth. Life down here is really depressing without your daily antics, jokes, cuddling, arguing, and all those fun things. What kind of car would you be driving, how tall would you be, would you have a girlfriend. I just can't stand it sometimes, I feel like the world has moved on and I am just watching it from the sidelines, frozen in this horrible state of grief. I will grieve for you till the day I take my last breath, I cannot be comforted. I only need to see you. Say hi to gramma for me. I love you both. Miss you so very much : (
Another Jacob memory / Leia (Family friend )Read >>
Another Jacob memory / Leia (Family friend )
have a lot of funny memories of Jacob....Of course, the hands-down funniest is when we were swimming at your house and he said out loud, "Jeremy needs a bra...." Haha! Close
One Christmas with Jacob / Leia (Family Friend )Read >>
One Christmas with Jacob / Leia (Family Friend )
Just for a chuckle, I wanted to share with you my favorite Christmas memory of Jacob. It goes back to when he was actually into Pokemon (remember that??!!)....We got him a Pokemon set for Christmas one year. He was at our house and opened it, and his face light up like a Christmas tree. He yelled "POKEMON!!!!" and he started jumping around the living room. Then he saw Jeremy and charged over to hug him, but the enthusiastic hug turned out to be Jacob's head running into Jeremy's belly with such force it almost knocked him over. Jacob was always so exhuberant and such a joyful and beautiful young man. We miss him!
Well Jacob, It's still another year gone by. I miss you so much, and wish that you were here with me watching football, and all of that fun stuff. I miss cuddling with you and smelling you and feeding you. I am so sorry that but one person lit a candle for you at Christmas. I guess I shouldn't be angry, everyone goes on with their lives, and have forgotten you, but I will never, ever forget you, and I will light a candle for you till the day I die. There is not an hour that goes by that I am not thinking of you, what you are doing, when I will get to see you. Nothing is fun like it used to be, I try, with Jordan, and she's a crack up, I am sure you can see, but everything is always overshadowed by grief, by an ache that cannot be remedied. Please know that I love you, and that I expect you to be right next to me this new year and hopefully, the Lord will return and we can all be together once again as a family. I miss the fab 4 of us. It just doesn't feel right without you. I love you, I miss you, my baby boy, my little man, my favorite son !!!!!
Well, it's finally Xmas and I'm just sitting here missing you so much. I wish you were here ripping open presents with your sister, just like old times. I can only hope that you are having the time of your life up in heaven, and that you're not missing us. I want you to be happy more than anything, and as long as you are happy, I can deal with whatever I have to down here. I can't wait to see you and hope that God comes back soon so that we can all be together again. It's going to be a great reunion. Kiss yourself, kiss Jesus, and God, please put Jacob on your lap and hold him and kiss him just like I would be doing right now, and tell him, this is from your mommy who loves you so much !! Merry Christmas, little guy !
Hi Jacob, It's almost Christmas, but not for me. It will never truly be Christmas again until we are together as a family. I miss you so much, I still buy things for you, and I want to shop for you, and make you hot chocolate and stuff your stocking, and put penguin sheets on your bed, and make you Christmas cookies, and make you wear ridiculous light up antlers for our family Christmas picture. All these things make Christmas what is is for me, and they are gone. It's quiet here, and sad, and things don't feel right, you should be here, this picture is all wrong. I just hope that you are as happy as ever. I just wish that I could see you somehow, to see how happy you are. I miss you, I love you, little man. Merry Christmas my first born son.
Hi Baby Boy, Nights like these are so hard for me. It's cold outside, and you are my cuddler. I wish so badly that we could just curl up on the couch with the fire on and watch a movie and eat snacks. I miss so many things about you, your wit, your generosity, your love, your debating, your hair, and just everything about you. I love you so, so much. I don't enjoy Christmas like I used to. It's not right without you here, it doesn't feel like it should be and never will be. I know that someday, we will all be together again, and we will celebrate and be happy and no one will ever take that away. My wish for this Christmas season is that I get to somehow see you, in some way, some divine way, whether through a vision or a dream, or anything. It's just been so long since I've seen you or talked to you and it just hurts so very bad. I am incomplete without you. Part of me is gone, a very big part, and I just want us all to be whole again. Our whole little family. Please be happy, have a good Christmas with Jesus, and send a little love your mommy's way this year. I'll take anything you are able to give me. I know that you can talk to Jesus and I know you are a good talker, so see what you can do. I love you, I miss you, my precious little man !
Hey Kidd! / Samantha Stoudt (FCS Friend )
Jacob, i looked at your picture today and your article in the glendora high school paper, i turned over the picture and your writing to me is still on it. it says "hey girl, i cant write small like you so oh well have fun-kid". i called you kid cuz the first day we ever spoke i said "hey kid, do you have a dollar?" and ever since then "kid" just stuck. you called me "girl". i remember all the times we went to breakout in 7th grade (you were in 8th)at foothill christian, and everytime i see the bench where you, me and pauline sat the very last time i saw you, i try not to cry. instead i remember how everytime you spoke to me you lit up my day. you made me feel special and most of all, you made me laugh! we used to talk on AIM and i swear i would crack up every time we talked. i made a screen name for you and you made one for me (samissupersexy01). once we lost touch i wondered if you had forgotten me. well even if you did, just know that i'll NEVER forget you. i love you kid, thanks for so many great memories and above all, for making me feel special Love, Samantha Stoudt (Cobian) Close
It's been a while since I've seen any of you Castros. Our families always got along very well and had so much fun. I just got the update about the law that drunk drivers that hit and kill are murderers. You are right, it will help others from now on thanks to all you have done for the cause to bring justice to victims and their families. I recently got pregnant and at 2 months, had a miscarriage. I was grateful for the super short time that I had to share with it. You are a strong family and so encouraging to many. I hope to see you again some day, til than, we will see our children again in glory. Love you guys.
New drunk driving law / Mommy (Mommy)
Just wanted to let everyone know that , although it won't benefit Jacob, there is a new law in California starting on January 1, 2008 that makes killing someone while you are driving drunk is MURDER . Chelsie Ray Smith murdered my son, it was NO ACCIDENT ! He chose to drink and he chose to drive impaired. That's murder. I hope that it helps people in the future to get the justice that Jacob didn't get. Close
Thinking about you / Christina Hogue(Suarez) (Friend)Read >>
Thinking about you / Christina Hogue(Suarez) (Friend)
Hey Jacob, I know I have not written in forever, but know that I think about you every day. I have a picture of you in my car that I look at every day. Today I was thinking about you so much and wondering how life would have been different if you wee still here. I want you to know that I miss and pray for your family everyday. They are in good hands when they are in the Lord's company. You will be in my heart forever. I talk about you to friends and they love to hear stories about you. I can not believe how long it has been. I am married now and I would have loved for you to be there. I know that you would have came if you could. I will visit more often because I want you to know that you are not forgotten. Close
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